May 2009
Andres Labnas
It all happened so quickly, I closed my door to Him. It was the part about doing the right things as He says that had become difficult for me to do. I chose to become detached from him, and I shut myself off from friends, family, community and church.
After several years of wasted and social life in this vanishing world, I knew something was not right deep inside. Feelings of abandonment and rejection began to trigger pain as I observed on my environment. My life played into a hell of booze drinking, lying, puff of smoke and cheating. Those thoughts began to pound on me and keep on repeating on and on that almost made me to start thinking about death.
Two things are battling in my mind, to simply quit, or too early to give up. But I said to myself that I had come too far to give up.
Until one day I realized that God sent angels down for me to talk to and to bring me close to him. But sad to say I rejected them, leaving them, hoping that they won't bother me anymore, but I was totally wrong on my presumption. Then the angels started knocking back again into my closed door, trying to open it for them to set me free. As I was trying to add more pressure to strengthen the barrier that divides us when I heard a voice from the other side. One of the angels reminds me of my horrific past life. Regret engulf me as I reminisce the past. Tears usually never conquered me but to this point, it flowed as I repeatedly spoke the words "God forgive me on what I have done". Then the other angel offers me chance to change my decision to remain behind that secluded closed door and be in the dark forever or to open the door and let the light shine in and welcome everyone inside and likewise for me to discover that God's love is not only to those who follows him, but also to those people who are lost on their ways by taking the wrong path and willing to alter their way towards him.
I was so thankful I had them with me for years and they never leaved me despite of our misunderstanding due to our discord opinions in life. Now I say I was blessed by them. When nothing else could help, the unfailing love of God kept lifting me through them. In faith, I repented on my sins and asked God to help me find the right way back to him once again. I thanked Him for sending those angels that I could reach out to in my arduous times.
Now I am preparing myself to take the next episode of my life thinking all about how marvelous God's grace is. Time to start my life anew..
Thank you, God, for loving me and not letting go.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire, and burned" (John 15:5-9).
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